Leave it to a member of my staff to stick his foot in my mouth. One of my economic brainiacs, Doug Holtz-Eakin, told some reporters this morning that I invented the blackberry. It might help if the idiot would've told me first. The media asked me about it and I told them I preferred blueberries in cream.
Turns out they were talking about some sort of new-fangled communication device. The worst part is that the darned thing was invented in Canada. Good lord. Even when we lie we don't do it right.
They're burning me about my 'economic fundamentals' comment yesterday, too. Turns out that's not a made-up phrase and the fundamentals of our economy suck. If we weren't down to a matter of weeks I'd fire my whole campaign and take a vacation at one of my wife's condos.
I can't stand to hear Sarah speak anymore. Her voice is getting on my nerves something fierce. All I can hear now is "blah blah blah Ah-la-skaw". Shut up, already! If I wanted to hang out with a bunch of rednecks I'd be back in Arizona.
P.S. I'm a flippin' war hero!!!
