If it weren't for the fact that there's only 60 days until the election I'd fire my whole staff. What a stupid speech - and again they put me in front of a giant green screen. A pasty white old man standing in front of a green screen doesn't scream 'success'. It screams 'death watch'. Thank God I got off without having to use Georgie's name.
To beat it all, the stuffy party cronies drug an Iraq veteran out of the hall in handcuffs. That can't look good for us. Honestly, I didn't even know I was being heckled. I was so busy trying to read that damn teleprompter that I thought the crowd was chanting 'USA, USA' because they loved me. The only time I really got applause is when I mentioned Sarah. I'm at the top of this ticket, by God!
Rick Davis shot down my idea to have girls in bikinis doing an interpretive dance of my speech on stage. I was hoping they'd distract from the fact that I said nothing at all for an entire hour. I guess Cindy punched him in the nose when he asked her permission to give it a try. Rick's a wimp and he cried, but what else is new.
P.S. I'm a freakin' war hero!
