What a bad day to be me. I can't believe my bad luck.
Just when I was celebrating Hurricane Gustav for saving me the uncomfortable task of calling Bush and Cheney to ask them not to come to St. Paul, my campaign finds out the Sarah's daughter is pregnant. My first reaction was to be sure that everybody knew it wasn't mine, but it turns out nobody suspected that.
Not only is she only 17, it turns out she's not even married to the guy. Luckily the evangelicals are ignoring that sex out of wedlock is a sin in order to promote thier pro-life agenda. It's funny how when the abstinance thing fails and the lack of sex education causes these girls to get pregnant, they all jump on board the pro-life bandwagon to save face. God must just be rolling his eyes up there.
The pro-lifers are actualy trying to use this as a tool to gather the troops. Those guys are dirtier than a bunch of Mafia and have no shame.
P.S. I was a POW and America owes me a huge debt!
